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Text Box: I can only write poems when I feel intensely happy or when I am very sad or when I am in rage and I can't vent out my anger.  Each poem has its own story to tell and and a distinct mel-emotion (as i wish to call it). There might be some that could sound so desperate or shocking. Some can even be incomprehensible --- probable outcomes of similarly incomprehensible feelings. My poems encompass my frustrations, my anger, my dreams, and my fantasies. And maybe through these pieces of me, you may be able to see a little of the "me" that can never be expressed well enough by the "melanie" that you see.
 

 

 

 

 

Text Box:  
 
 
 
a walk in the park 
cruising through
life's park,
walking along
broken pavements,
children on swings
riding the wind,
for the moment
winning against
the eternal pull
who ruled 
the slides -
whose joy
comes with seeing
us fall in exhilaration

a walk in the park
on a dark night
this cold and dewy soul 
reminisced the fall 
and the exhilaration of it.
now alone,
the fall has not ended
the downward spiral
of an impending doom -
of victory
strewn with false hopes,
predetermined dreams,
and designed freedom.
plastic trees
pink clouds
and my brown eyes. 
 
My Cruel Mind's Summer
faces and places
lost and quickly found

a special place it seemed
there i was

fancy walls
enclosed in warmth and sunshine

skin as white as snow
beneath a painted year-round summer 

where was the wind?
the waves unheard of...

where am i?

i question
i think of answers

i caress myself
there was none

nothing to feel
there was none

again.
 
 
Love Lost 
drifting 
like the serene waters,
not a word is said
about love nor hate.
but it is goodbye
when the waves 
are laid in peace
by the mighty wind,
when silence rules
the once raging seas,
when the heart hums
like the gentle sea breeze.

indifference is
love lost.
 
memories of my palace and my grandiose window

i cannot help catching a glimpse
of the garden just outside
and from my grandiose window i watch
the whitest rose in full bloom
who from the start i called mine

ive watched my rose for so long
a bud it was with petals tight
who seemed to hide from my longing sight
so near yet by far the hardest to reach
unlike the red roses under my feet

these red roses surround me day and night
flooding my palace with its floral bliss
such sweet aroma filled my senses 
like nothing could be as perfect
for a princess with everything in gold and silver

my grandiose window was my bestfriend 
who made my fantasies come true 
and as i watch through it 
my mind brings me to another world
even for just a minute or two

and just today,
i hear my rose calling me
i run to my grandiose window
and see the thorns
i climb up and close my eyes
 

Of you
if the sound of your voice 
were life to me
then i would live forever
for one second of it
fills me as though
i do not need the next breath
of this lifetime.

and so now, each night, i live
in a place where i hear
the only voice 
who gives life for the one
who long have been muted
by painted summers
and imaginary moonlights.

this place resounds 
the blissful serenity
of the self, 
the soothing warmth of home 
amidst silent whispers,
the calmness of 
unspoken love...

night falls again
the wind, cold, freezes time
and with eyes closed I relish 
the warmth, safety, and comfort
of this dream
from the magical fancies
of a heart set free

from a distance
i hear the voice
eyes closed
i breath
i feel
i stop
i live

still...
 
 
Heart speaks
waiting
for the days, the nights
of you and me
wondering 
how, and when
these dreams fall down
from imaginary heavens
unto the reality
of where i sit and wait
counting 
the hours
the minutes
the seconds
waiting for the coming
waiting for the leaving
waiting for forever
waiting for goodbye...

 
Hope
rashed flesh
is numbed
by the ticking of the clock

pain flees
with each fleeting thought
of the morning
 
Desires
the flight began anew
illusioned wings adrift 

a reverie 
of wine and song

dark skies above
clouded thoughts

stars twinkling 
upon buried fantasies

til a flicker of courage
broke silence

the wings flew too high
and chanced upon a blue star

drifted downwards
and burned like a phoenix

gone.

day came
revealing scorching rays

eyes squint
to focus on red, white, and blue

just then
the dark nights are wished for

when only the twinkling stars
are seen 

when the wings resurrect
for the blue star

to light the fire that burns
for the hope to stay lit

and fight the dew of
just another daybreak
 
 
In Drunk Stupor

Lips of bitter wine
Taste so sweet
A simple kiss
So fiery

Feelings unsaid
Glide on numbed veins
Wants pulsate endlessly
the mind says no

in dreams 
the heart is free
to recreate that drunk stupor
and feel those lips

in waking hours
the mind wonders
what sweetness would there be
to bring such moments here and now?

in daylight
without the bitter wine
to mask sensations
will there be more or less?

i question.
 
Pretense
If I could, I would look into your eyes until my eyes close
If I could, I would feel you until I am numb
Since I could not, Iíll close my eyes until I can look at you
Since I could not, Iíll be numb until I feel you.
For nothing will do for one who have had all
And emptiness isnít as empty for the one who have had much
But the morning comes after each night
And the masquerade begins again
And I dare open my eyes
And I dare touch you 
And I dare feel nothing
 
The Rain


In the garden, drops fall one by one...

On my head, sliding on the small of my face...
Like a dewdrop on a leaf.

On my shoulders, caressing my skin so softly...
Like a cloud's breath.

On my feet, curling up my stubby little toes in cold...
Like a smooth winter kiss upon a sleeping rose.

Round and round I ran with the rain
In the garden...
Round and round as the rain raged...
Round and round as the wind blew...
Round and round as I grew...
Into a world I never knew,
Where the rain hits and beats me up...

I ran and run against the rain...
Now all wet and gleaming,
I stand here all knowing,

I have become the rain.

 
The ABCs of Wanting You
Anything goes
Between the times of me
Calling you, and you,
Doing the things you do.
Each and every day, this
Fire burns and burns, and I
Go falling deeper and deeper into a
Hole of infernal heat.
I was the
Joke that made you laugh. I was the
Key to no one else's door. You
Leave me hanging here like a
Moron whom you called
Nice and sweet coz
Orgasm is such a sugar
Peak like the glucose that I am.
Queer, but I am in
Rage coz
Shitfuck, you only wanted a fuck when you said that my
Tits were tequila-perfect. And as you lick, shoot, and suck,
Underneath these clouds of lust, you feel the
Virgin-tight, pulsating, wet pussy of the
Wasted bum quite unlike the soggy cunts in the
X-rated movies that
You've seen a
Zillion times.
 
The Self
A throb.
A beat.
Uncertainty...
A sigh.
A breath.
From within...
This feeling
Lingers.
This vision
Soothes.
From the eyes.
Through the soul.
Lifting the spirit
To great heights
Where emptiness rules.
Nothing to see
Nothing to think of
Nothing to feel
But the wholeness
Of me...
 
Wind
For so long you have held me
Without knowing.
For years you have rustled my hair
So tenderly that I
Slept so soundly.
Until that gentle breeze
Caressed my skin with such warmth
That I had to open my eyes.
And then you were all over me.
One second was all it took.
And I learned your ways,
Without having to speak
For you have reached me from within
Where words aren't heard.
And so I flew and danced with you.
Where the music never ends
Like the flight we take and
The circles we make
As we dance.
And lull ourselves to sleep.
 
Melanie
A soul in solitude.
A frightened child in hiding.
A broken poem unread.
A song unsung.
 
Bookshelves (AdMU Rizal Library)
A place full of you.
My refuge...
"Take solace here"
I say to myself.
Home is where my toes curl.
Home is where my jaws shiver in cold.
Home is where you are.
And in these four corners of Home,
I sit and wait.
And wait and wait and...
Take refuge
Take refuge?
And die in vain?
 
Cig
Life is
Puffing a cig
Sometimes it chokes you.
At times it warms you.
When it turns out perfectly
Like the smooth smoke
Gliding down the throat
Oh that feeling!
But at times
We must learn to let go.
As we do
When we breath out
That warm, white smoke...
And then we puff again...
 
About Untold Feelings
A jack in the box
Dying to pop out
From where
You dare not even touch.
 
Believe
Dreams
Are there for us to dream about
-they make us happy
-they make us sad
I am a dreamer
And I dream on
Day and night no end.
For as long as the sun shines
Day by day
And the moon beams
Night after night
There's always a thing or two
To dream of.
Sleep and dream,
Wake up and dream.
Nobody can stop you.
Nobody will.
For all of us are dreamers.
In this world.
Dream on as I do.
I am a dreamer.
And this I know
Dreams are dreams.
Dreams will be dreams
Until we believe...