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Text Box: I can only write poems when I feel intensely happy or when I am very sad or when I am in rage and I can't vent out my anger.  Each poem has its own story to tell and and a distinct mel-emotion (as i wish to call it). There might be some that could sound so desperate or shocking. Some can even be incomprehensible --- probable outcomes of similarly incomprehensible feelings. My poems encompass my frustrations, my anger, my dreams, and my fantasies. And maybe through these pieces of me, you may be able to see a little of the "me" that can never be expressed well enough by the "melanie" that you see.  

 

 

 

 

Text Box:         a walk in the park  cruising through life's park, walking along broken pavements, children on swings riding the wind, for the moment winning against the eternal pull who ruled the slides - whose joy comes with seeing us fall in exhilaration a walk in the park on a dark night this cold and dewy soul reminisced the fall and the exhilaration of it. now alone, the fall has not ended the downward spiral of an impending doom - of victory strewn with false hopes, predetermined dreams, and designed freedom. plastic trees pink clouds and my brown eyes.   My Cruel Mind's Summer faces and places lost and quickly found a special place it seemed there i was fancy walls enclosed in warmth and sunshine skin as white as snow beneath a painted year-round summer where was the wind? the waves unheard of... where am i? i question i think of answers i caress myself there was none nothing to feel there was none again.     Love Lost  drifting like the serene waters, not a word is said about love nor hate. but it is goodbye when the waves are laid in peace by the mighty wind, when silence rules the once raging seas, when the heart hums like the gentle sea breeze. indifference is love lost.   memories of my palace and my grandiose window i cannot help catching a glimpse of the garden just outside and from my grandiose window i watch the whitest rose in full bloom who from the start i called mine ive watched my rose for so long a bud it was with petals tight who seemed to hide from my longing sight so near yet by far the hardest to reach unlike the red roses under my feet these red roses surround me day and night flooding my palace with its floral bliss such sweet aroma filled my senses like nothing could be as perfect for a princess with everything in gold and silver my grandiose window was my bestfriend who made my fantasies come true and as i watch through it my mind brings me to another world even for just a minute or two and just today, i hear my rose calling me i run to my grandiose window and see the thorns i climb up and close my eyes   Of you if the sound of your voice were life to me then i would live forever for one second of it fills me as though i do not need the next breath of this lifetime. and so now, each night, i live in a place where i hear the only voice who gives life for the one who long have been muted by painted summers and imaginary moonlights. this place resounds the blissful serenity of the self, the soothing warmth of home amidst silent whispers, the calmness of unspoken love... night falls again the wind, cold, freezes time and with eyes closed I relish the warmth, safety, and comfort of this dream from the magical fancies of a heart set free from a distance i hear the voice eyes closed i breath i feel i stop i live still...     Heart speaks waiting for the days, the nights of you and me wondering how, and when these dreams fall down from imaginary heavens unto the reality of where i sit and wait counting the hours the minutes the seconds waiting for the coming waiting for the leaving waiting for forever waiting for goodbye...   Hope rashed flesh is numbed by the ticking of the clock pain flees with each fleeting thought of the morning   Desires the flight began anew illusioned wings adrift a reverie of wine and song dark skies above clouded thoughts stars twinkling upon buried fantasies til a flicker of courage broke silence the wings flew too high and chanced upon a blue star drifted downwards and burned like a phoenix gone. day came revealing scorching rays eyes squint to focus on red, white, and blue just then the dark nights are wished for when only the twinkling stars are seen when the wings resurrect for the blue star to light the fire that burns for the hope to stay lit and fight the dew of just another daybreak     In Drunk Stupor Lips of bitter wine Taste so sweet A simple kiss So fiery Feelings unsaid Glide on numbed veins Wants pulsate endlessly the mind says no in dreams the heart is free to recreate that drunk stupor and feel those lips in waking hours the mind wonders what sweetness would there be to bring such moments here and now? in daylight without the bitter wine to mask sensations will there be more or less? i question.   Pretense If I could, I would look into your eyes until my eyes close If I could, I would feel you until I am numb Since I could not, I’ll close my eyes until I can look at you Since I could not, I’ll be numb until I feel you. For nothing will do for one who have had all And emptiness isn’t as empty for the one who have had much But the morning comes after each night And the masquerade begins again And I dare open my eyes And I dare touch you And I dare feel nothing   The Rain In the garden, drops fall one by one... On my head, sliding on the small of my face... Like a dewdrop on a leaf. On my shoulders, caressing my skin so softly... Like a cloud's breath. On my feet, curling up my stubby little toes in cold... Like a smooth winter kiss upon a sleeping rose. Round and round I ran with the rain In the garden... Round and round as the rain raged... Round and round as the wind blew... Round and round as I grew... Into a world I never knew, Where the rain hits and beats me up... I ran and run against the rain... Now all wet and gleaming, I stand here all knowing, I have become the rain.   The ABCs of Wanting You Anything goes Between the times of me Calling you, and you, Doing the things you do. Each and every day, this Fire burns and burns, and I Go falling deeper and deeper into a Hole of infernal heat. I was the Joke that made you laugh. I was the Key to no one else's door. You Leave me hanging here like a Moron whom you called Nice and sweet coz Orgasm is such a sugar Peak like the glucose that I am. Queer, but I am in Rage coz Shitfuck, you only wanted a fuck when you said that my Tits were tequila-perfect. And as you lick, shoot, and suck, Underneath these clouds of lust, you feel the Virgin-tight, pulsating, wet pussy of the Wasted bum quite unlike the soggy cunts in the X-rated movies that You've seen a Zillion times.   The Self A throb. A beat. Uncertainty... A sigh. A breath. From within... This feeling Lingers. This vision Soothes. From the eyes. Through the soul. Lifting the spirit To great heights Where emptiness rules. Nothing to see Nothing to think of Nothing to feel But the wholeness Of me...   Wind For so long you have held me Without knowing. For years you have rustled my hair So tenderly that I Slept so soundly. Until that gentle breeze Caressed my skin with such warmth That I had to open my eyes. And then you were all over me. One second was all it took. And I learned your ways, Without having to speak For you have reached me from within Where words aren't heard. And so I flew and danced with you. Where the music never ends Like the flight we take and The circles we make As we dance. And lull ourselves to sleep.   Melanie A soul in solitude. A frightened child in hiding. A broken poem unread. A song unsung.   Bookshelves (AdMU Rizal Library) A place full of you. My refuge... "Take solace here" I say to myself. Home is where my toes curl. Home is where my jaws shiver in cold. Home is where you are. And in these four corners of Home, I sit and wait. And wait and wait and... Take refuge Take refuge? And die in vain?   Cig Life is Puffing a cig Sometimes it chokes you. At times it warms you. When it turns out perfectly Like the smooth smoke Gliding down the throat Oh that feeling! But at times We must learn to let go. As we do When we breath out That warm, white smoke... And then we puff again...   About Untold Feelings A jack in the box Dying to pop out From where You dare not even touch.   Believe Dreams Are there for us to dream about -they make us happy -they make us sad I am a dreamer And I dream on Day and night no end. For as long as the sun shines Day by day And the moon beams Night after night There's always a thing or two To dream of. Sleep and dream, Wake up and dream. Nobody can stop you. Nobody will. For all of us are dreamers. In this world. Dream on as I do. I am a dreamer. And this I know Dreams are dreams. Dreams will be dreams Until we believe...